Voluntering. It doesn't pay.

People tell me things.

This morning I chatted with a neighbor of mine. There were some things shared that I listened to with an understanding grin but inside my head I was thinking "Holy Shit, I can't freakin believe someone is telling me this...I must be awesome. I must be the shit. I have no idea how to react...Maybe I'm not that awesome." In the end I still felt like a champion, but in comparison I don't have problems. However, I am self invovled for the most part, and I will continue to think the world revolves around me for a least 10 hours of each of my days. This is how I roll.

Saturdays are the worst. I used to have really great, chillin out, getting laid Saturdays. I didn't even have to get drunk before hand. It was this precious day when I felt my most beautiful, my most settled, my most happy, calm self. Well those days a long fuckin gone. For the most part I spend Saturdays entertaining myself with meaningless tasks that fill the day. I usually have a point of feeling so anxious that my mind literally jumps out of my head and makes bad desicions without reality being a factor. Then i have a point where I need to cry. If someone says to me one more time "You're not alone, your just going through a hard time, it can only get better." I will serioiusly punch them in the crotch life a professional ninja and say "It doesn't really hurt, you're just being a pussy."
End of story. Jeesh.


I am getting more angry as time goes on, my skin keeps gettin thicker. I will win....I am the champion of the universe for life.