There's this myth I once heard, if you hold your ear up to a vagina you'll hear the ocean.

What a long damned weekend.

I think I need a beard, it would make me look more sophisticated. I could scratch my beard and look like I was thinking about something really cool and important, but I'd really just be singing the words to the Rent soundtrack. But no one would suspect.

I did lots of work and hid in my room for the past two days. I ate some very delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and looked at emo art.

My little Bretty came over tonight, we watched Family Guy and I thought about my socks a lot. They didn't match, I wondered if Brett was wishing they were the same color. I cleaned my room so he wouldn't freak out, but I forgot about the socks. I like him even though he's completely insane, and he likes me even though nothing about me is in order.


Well I believe next weekend I will drink, Beatles theme party on CALF, I like the sounds of that. Friday night will be a nice little fun time for Angie. Any one who wants to have a good time and won't act like a dick or make me pissed is welcomed to come.

I'm becoming a horrible person.

Fuck sleep.

I drank a shit load of coffee today and now my brain is in over drive. I just spent FOREVER updating my facebook, someone cool better comment on that shit or I will have worked for nothing. Seriously I need a life.

I'm talking very fast.

I think I have an idea for my painting, don't ask about it, just know it's under construction full force.

I don't like being alone at night. I just don't I keep trying to convince myself that I'm alone and that doesn't mean I have to feel lonely. Well, it's not working, I need lots of good cuddling. I need a warm body, someone who won't ask to much of me or insist on having 2349845 emo conversations about "where we're going". Reminder to self, don't call Brett late at night when you're on a caffeine binge, he will only make you wanna break things.

And that my friends is what we call closure.

Well now, I'm just crying, it's this fuckin great, what the hell is happening?

We raise our glass, you bet your ass to La VIe Boheme!

It's official, half way through my spring break and I have nothing to show for it. My work load is ridiculous and I'm just putting that shit off like the freakin plague.

I hung out with good ol Bretty yesterday. He was very shiny and tan, like new car smell. He kept smiling, it looked like his big white teeth were gonna eat the rest of his face. He was being very sexy, saying crazy things, basically making my very nervous. The first thing he did when he walked in was lay on my bed with me. What did I do in the face of possibly getting a little afternoon nookie???? Nothing, well not nothing. I got up, sat on my couch, curled up in the fetal position and cried like a child who lost her bike. It turns out I didn't really want that bike or at least I didn't want to ride it at that point. After a few hours of playing the game he left, I didn't blame him, I was exhausted myself. The act of sex is tiring, but the act of the before stuff is even more horrible, especially if ends in nothing happening.
I don't care if Justin smelled or was weird or whatever, that fucker knew how to get to the damn point.

Will and I went to Michigan this weekend to see my fam scene. It was a short trip but we had a good time. Here's the highlights:
1.) Will watched porn with my uncle and dad.
2.) Will hit a small helpless bunny at 6 in the morning.
3.) We heard a bomb go off, a plane landing, and/or UFOs in Whitehall, NY.
4.) Saw Niagara Falls during the day and it was beautiful.
5.) Ate Dairy Queen.
6.) Spent a lot of time singing as loud as we could in the car to any song we knew at least one word to.
7.) Decided to become a touring duet who only sings "Piano Man"
And then we came home.

Well I have to work tonight and then come home and continue to do nothing at all. Maybe a movie and sweet, sweet sleep. There will probably be some masturbation in all that, because I've got time bitches. Word.

I'd like to check into the panorama.

So guys I'm quite stoned right now and so I believe its the best time to write something great and meaningful and crazy, but really just great.

The bitch left without saying good bye, Shannon Robins, a girl I love and respect, left without saying good-bye. WTF? That shit hurts, why do I leave my room? oh yeah, to find people to have sex with me, but lately I haven't had to leave my room for that, so why do I leave my room? ridddle me that.

I'm going home tomorrow, no more worries for a few days, word. Everyone kinda ditched out at the last minute, but Will and I will have fun, I mean I'm not pissed or anything but everyone thought I was like the coolest ever and was all like "yeah angie, shit, spring break, Michigan, all the cool people go there and you're the coolest Angie Szarenski, you are without a doubt the master of all things that are awesome and/or totally sweet, nice." I was digging that, my fans that is, but then everyone turned in to a hater and wanna go to New Jersey or have all this work to do, and it's like my father doesn't really love me and my life is falling apart and my artwork will never be cool enough for the big kids on the playground and everyone is smiling when I get the crown.

Brett modeled for my drawing class yesterday, Richard loves him more than me cause Brett can stand still for 2903834082 hours. All the girls were talking about him and calling him superman and looking at his privates and asking eachother if he went to Green Mountain and I just wanted to scream. It's the first time I've ever been jealous and felt like I had to make sure everyone knew he was mine......and then he got in the laying down pose. I couldn't do it becaue he was laying down and my lower area was freakin out, so I called Richard over. He leaned down to help me and his knee was touching my back and he smelled like soap and he kept telling me to check the angle of Brett's nipples and and I could barely handle myself, so I exploded right there and now I'm talking to you from the other side of life. I don't even exist anymore, except for my vagina which is just waiting for him to do the laying down pose again for her chance to strike.

Well that is all I got, surprised???? You shouldn't be, that's just life and sometimes that's all there is.

I'm slowing becoming damaged goods.

I really like staying in my room, I almost feel blind when go out into the light and have to say hi to people that I only know because I told them I loved their shirt when I was drunk. I have to ask how they're doing and say that I can't wait to hang out with them again. I'm gonna let everyone in on a little secret, I don't like most people but I have a very convincing smile. So watch your back, cause I might be behind it, running away from you because I don't wanna have an awkward conversation with you.

Well guys, I've been listening to a lot of Black Eyed Peas lately. I enjoy dancing in the mirror while smoking a nice little ciggie. I am sure that I was a fly ass bitch in my other life and I had a great butt, like a big one that you can actually see when I'm wearing clothes.

Stress all around me and every time I take my eyes off it, it comes around and slaps me in the face with one of those orange construction cones. I'm ready to go home for day. I wanna smoke cigs with my momma, laugh like a bad ass, eat good food, sleep on the couch, and be in Peck for a little bit, just to make sure everything is still running smoothly since I left. I write long sentence because I don't breathe. Fact.

And that's all for the day, tomorrow will be filled with classes and Dick Weis yelling at me because I haven't started my big painting yet. Fear. It will however end with Brett modeling half naked for my drawing class, so life is not all bad.

That pic is me the way I wish I always was. Tan.