Now take your dress off and end this little tea party

My calculations are precise.

Being tired.
Its a feeling that many people have these days. I have the feeling like bullet wound from a battle tragically lost during American Idol. That's the only battle feild I chose to accept these days.

I woke up for my day at 2 am. Some punk started yelling "I'm gonna fucking kill you" right next to my window last night. He was not yelling at me, although for a brief second I thought maybe today was the day a stranger would start yelling at my apartment for no reason. Anywho, he was yelling at someone who had broke some sort of window and he also added that he fucking hated this person. Over and over........at first it was cool. But its a Tuesday night, its 2 o'clock in the morning, and you're choosing to bare your deepest angers in the drive way of 310 Bentley. Not cool brother.
So I got on my big pink rain boots, marched my way to the middle of the drive-way still in my PJs and still half asleep, and yelled like I was having a child.
Although it may sound trashy, it was classy.
I mean, if I'm anything is this world, I'm a class act. That's why my prices are so high.

So after that little romp I got ready for work jumped in my car a 3:15 and drove. I didn't see one car until I got to Manchester. Vermont is very quiet a 3 in the morning. Its a spooky, mind blowing experience. But one that I would easily give up for an extra two seconds of sleep.
I worked. We're doing good numbers and the job I do is always done well. I make a shit ton of cakes and now I bake bread like a pro. But that doesn't make up for the fact that I don't talk to people in the break room. My boss told me its not very nice to read a book while people are on break with me, he said they wanna talk and all I do is read. Not accpetable.
I don't get paid for my breaks. I sign out. But according to Brad I have to volunteer my time during my break to listen to people talk about nothing. Its the only way to be accepted into the cult and more imortantly your social clique. Although this was not in my working contract it a well know fact that you must revert to being 15 years old while socailizing.
This whole job is like an awkward high school dance. This is where boys will boys and women know their place and if someone messes with the balance she will be executed.
I'm taking my break in my car again. This dash board doesn't judge me and the CD player isn't a tool bag.

And then finally home. And home never felt so good as it did this afternoon. If heaven exists it will be sitting in my living room, watching American Idol, and freakin out cause Chikeze was voted off.
It was an emotional roller coaster that was as close to pure happiness as I can possibly get.
There is magic in Ryan Seacrest's skinny tie.

Well I should go to bed.
Sleeping off this day it gonna be ficking Swwwweeetttt!

I'm gonna make some cakes like a woah that. Yep.

Well I'm here.
Just here.
I went over to my most recent man mess last night. And there I was, Watching The Ledend of Bager Vance and thinking yeah I'm pretty attracted this person. He wasn't singing to me tonight. Which makes me think that his previous concerts were due to the fact that we were watching American Idol. And that shit makes anything excusable.
Kinda like my horrible crush on one of the contestants, who I could get arrested for....Excusable.

So we're chillin and I'm thinking, yeah this shit might happen. The movie stops. He uses the fact that he wants to "fight" me to get close to me. This also gives him the freedom to cop a feel. I respect him...no one has used than line since I was 15. pause for effect. Yeah, that's to many days ago.
So we're "fighing" and he kisses me. I had forgot he had a tongue ring, until a metal rod was stabbing at my gums. La La La that keeps going on. All the while I'm trying to think of an exit plan that won't wound his ego. But he was really into whatever was happening cause I must have kissed him fro like a million hours. Finally exit plan in progress I get outta there.
He mentions we should do this again sometime and that whatever was happening was awesome and really hot...blah blah blah
And I'm chillin there, thinking "Really?"
I went home tired, happy, a little sweaty, freshly kissed, and not horny at all. What is wrong with me? Its like my vagina has decided to turn completely off. I just wanna paint pictures and smoke cigarrettes. Now that's a commitment I'm willing to make.
Maybe I actally am a heartless bitch. That's all I could come up with as I was walking into my apartment. Oh maybe I'l just waiting to see what happens with my California lover. But I don't want to believe that. I guess I'll know in April. Oh maybe not and I'll be this crazy for the rest of my life in every relationship I have. Swwwweeeeettttt. ha.

On that note. Tyra Banks is fucking nuts. I can't even believe she exists.
That woman scares me. Scares me in the way that monsters and blood do.

Just do it

This is what is happening.....go back and forth between the videos....man that shit has some fire.

Are we there yet?

I hate hate hate my job.
Today Vona's voice boomed over the speaker in the store. It was like satin himself was telling me there was a call in the bakery. Her voice makes me wanna throw up. And the day I do actually voimit because of her words, I hope she's right next to me so a little goes in her mouth.
That'll teach her.

May will be here soon and that is when I will be like "Peace out shitty job" I'm gonna chill old school with the crazy actors and happy children on the stage. That'll teach you.
Have the crazy woman make cakes, even though she could never make a Horton Hears a Who cake that looks like the book and makes kids and adults smile. That reminds me, today I found out I can draw Horton the elephant on a cake like a winner. Can't wait till I can make another cake that isn't ballons and roses.
I don't understand why people like ballons and roses so much. Its like that the only thing that can truely say Happy Birthday. Who decided that? I'm really like to meet that guy. He could probably pipe a mean border, but what happens when you want something that doesn't look like infated rubber and/or plants. He probably melts down.

And now I'm gonna watch the Ultimate Recipe Showdown. This show keeps you one the edge of your seat. Not quite like American Idol but so close.
I'm lying.
Its not even close to American Idol.

Oh yeah, another very important side note.
I got to play guitar hero this weekend. I miss that game the way I miss old lovers. I just want it in my life everyday.
Sometimes you gotta accept the little time you get with the thing you love.

You smell like pie and child labor laws....but only when I stand up wind of you.

Today was very very fine today.
I woke up very very early. I had an American Idol date with Frank last night. American Idol was fuckin kick ass and having someone to watch it with that was super excited was fucking awesome, But after the show it was not as super awesome. The guy is pretty chill but he likes to sing. This guy is a singer.
And I don't think one has lived until she in interuted mid conversation because this hug beast of man sitting next to her wants to belt out some show tunes. I think he officially cured my want for my life to be one giant musical. Turns out its kinda awkward. He's also more self involed than I am. I'm way way way to self invovled to be with someone who shares that with me.
Patience has never been something I've been able to claim.

But it was very very icey last night. So instead of driving home I decided to walk. I decided to walk even after an invitation to stay the night. I slid all the way home with my pink boots in all their glory.
So i woke up and walked back....its a long walk to make before 8 in the morning. It was like taking the walk of shame to and from nowhere at all. When I got home Brett called...he was a little cranky, but it happens. Still a good thing he called when he did, it made my night seem more like sunny skies, bad tans, warm weather, and weird weird love.

Long story short....

I decided to wacth American Idol alone tonight. Best choice I've made in a few years by far.

And then to kick my day up a notch. I fucking met Peter Krause today. And by met I mean scanned his items, asked for his money, chatted for a while about the weather and his vacation, and then bagged his shit perfectly. He even said "Nice talk to you Angie" He's one of those name tag guys...i like that a lot. As soon as he was outta the store I checked his credit card slip and yes it was him....Krause, Peter. I'm a stalker. If he was like a second more famous I could have been in People next week as his new Vermont clerk girlfriend.
Its pretty fuckin weird to see someone in real life that you watched on a television show on DVD. His face holds many memories of Alaska and Jordan and being the freshman and thinking I was way cooler than I actually was.

(For all ya'll who don't know, Peter Krause played Nate in Six Feet Under.)

So that was sweet. Life hands ya little things to let you know there's cool shit out there.
Sew that on a pillow.
Or design a Precious Moments pastel sculptue with that theme


But then on the way home from my kick ass celebrity bagging date, I ran over a bunny. It was very very sad, I sort of cried. Its really shocking to think that my car could kill something. Seeing as how I relate my car to being pretty chill and a place to sing musical numbers without the judgment of the outside world.
Bunnies are awesome, if I could wear a braclet to express my pain, I would. Braclets are a good way to let people know you have a deep inner side that you have a firm grip on.
Bunnies....life changing.

Well I should sleep. I have many hours of work tomorrow and I'm decorating cakes all day. Life is good baby. Good.

His jawline is like a knife on its way to nowhere.

Well people I had a few experiences today.
Not really important ones. So if you have something better to do, go do it. Then maybe come back when you're just randomly surfing the internet and want to kill some time. That's basically what these things that have happened add up to.
Not much.

First off, started my morning talking to my lil sis. Literally started my day this way. I got out of bed and BAM...she was on the phone.The conversation was mostly about her, I tried to keep it that way because when she tells me her thoughts on my life I get very nervous. Her words are kind of like being hit in the mouth with a wet a fish....and she can be sort of a cunt. So we stuck to the subject at hand....HER WEDDING. This is not a drill people, my little sister is getting married next year. Her five year plan is coming along slendidly. She even has a dress and has assigned me a mint green bridesmaid outfit. If you're reading this and you happen to be at this wedding next year, I'll be the drunk one in the corner. I'll probably be tan. Oh and my mom will probably also be drunk, so we might be sitting together.

And then I decided to dye my hair. I had to do it myself because its not fun for other people to do and I have nothing to offer them in return for an hour of pulling my hair through small holes in an attractive plastic cap. So I was thinking I could just do it myself. So I did. I started pulling the hair through the holes. The whole time I was thinking "this isn't so hard, why does everyone say this is so hard, this is so easy, why don't people say this is easy." Well I'll tell you why, because the back of the head exists. When I realized this it was like I had just learned a deep secret about my life. I ending up doing my whole head by myself, but not while singing a happy working song. I spent the whole time setting up mirrors so i could see the mythical back of my head and then dealing with my numb arms. In the end, I have slightly blonde hair. Next time I'm hiring a child. Maybe my brother's child...because before my yonger sister gets married my younger brother will be a father.
ha
hahaha
haha

Is it wrong that I think everyone has lost their fucking minds?
I have to blame it on them because if they're not crazy, than I am. And I'm trying to pretend I'm sane for the time being.
And thats my two cents.