Copernicus is a dildo. And that's all I've learned this week.

"I'm a virgin"
"Sweet! I like that because you don't have chlamydia and I know that and that shit is everywhere."
"What if she laughs at me though?"
"Then you punch he in the fuckin head if she laughs."

I didn't get drunk this weekend, why is it so hard to be like the kids at Green Mountain, they're all judging me. I did however walk through campus crying with a six pack in my hand, so I think I got my point across.

Next Friday will be a month without sex. fuck. The most action I've got in the last three weeks is when I fell and hit my vagina on the raised tile covered cement shower divider in the bathroom when I was drunk and had pooped my pants about 15 minutes before, so there's that. Brett better watch himself on Friday because I'm gonna be humping him till I can't feel my legs any more. True Story.

Will got married this weekend. And this is why I like him around. Cause the moment I think I've done the stupidest thing with my life, e.i. celibacy, he goes and does something that makes me look like an amateur. Hats off to you my friend, you are the king.
In all seriousness, congrats man, you got some balls, I can even like a soup for more that a week.

Brett came over tonight, its funny how the image of him riding a white horse naked makes me very calm within my world. Basically when I'm stoned all I think about is horses and naked people.

I guess it goes without say that I wasn't about to throw some yogurt on an unconscious woman's feet

There comes a point in every gynie's life when she needs to ask herself, "Self, should I continue making cheese steak sandwiches or throw Tom Stuessy's vanilla latte off his table and ride him like a helpless pony?"

i'm now hiding under my covers with my computer. I feel like I'm ten and I've just made the sweetest tent to live in for life.

i'm listening to larry king live and he's asking some guy from the show "growing pains" about his love for cooking. Larry just asked "Do you cook with a Wok?" Who comes up with the questions for this stupid fucking show?

according to shannon justin smells. she says he smells not so great. pretty much, she says he smells bad. I guess I never smelled him real good. I did have sex with him though. You'd think I'd be able to pick out a stinky guy if I'm doing a little front to action with him. i think my nose is retarded.(that pic I have includes the stinky guy)

I'm gonna end by saying that pauly shore is hot.........i wonder if he smells too?

No one puts Baby in the fuckin corner

The end of the live journal era has finally come....and this time I mean it. Tell your friends cause this is how this shit is gonna rrrrrrrrooooooooollllllllllll.

I like to watch the movie Object of My Affection and eat Now and Laters and love the world.
On Friday I was a drunkie and I lost all my dignity and most of the food I ate this week in about .0002 seconds. It was pretty hot, like burn your hands on the stove hot. Hot enough to need lots quarters to wash all my clothes and sheets the nest day. Thank you, Thank you. I'd take a bow but I don't wanna go over the top here.

I'd also like to take a second to say this, it's been two weeks. Two mother fucking weeks. This is supposed to make me a better person, but I believe my vagina might jump out of my pants and rape the next boy who shows me a minute of interest. She's pissed....super pissed like a ninja warrior. I need a head band.

Here is a fact. I might have sex with a professor. He's lucky I'm easy or I might actually be disgusted with him. Lucky, lucky, lucky him. He came to see me today so he could ask to be my Valentine. Oh shit, I said it.

Well I have to keep watching this movie and smoke a cigarette. yes.