Copernicus is a dildo. And that's all I've learned this week.

"I'm a virgin"
"Sweet! I like that because you don't have chlamydia and I know that and that shit is everywhere."
"What if she laughs at me though?"
"Then you punch he in the fuckin head if she laughs."

I didn't get drunk this weekend, why is it so hard to be like the kids at Green Mountain, they're all judging me. I did however walk through campus crying with a six pack in my hand, so I think I got my point across.

Next Friday will be a month without sex. fuck. The most action I've got in the last three weeks is when I fell and hit my vagina on the raised tile covered cement shower divider in the bathroom when I was drunk and had pooped my pants about 15 minutes before, so there's that. Brett better watch himself on Friday because I'm gonna be humping him till I can't feel my legs any more. True Story.

Will got married this weekend. And this is why I like him around. Cause the moment I think I've done the stupidest thing with my life, e.i. celibacy, he goes and does something that makes me look like an amateur. Hats off to you my friend, you are the king.
In all seriousness, congrats man, you got some balls, I can even like a soup for more that a week.

Brett came over tonight, its funny how the image of him riding a white horse naked makes me very calm within my world. Basically when I'm stoned all I think about is horses and naked people.