I didn't know you had lock jaw.

Oh my goodness....I have tomorrow off. After eight days of making cakes and cookies and blah blah blah I have a freaking day off. One thing about working at the bakery that I have found in the past week...I hate everyone there. Sometimes.

My boss is crazy. Not like "Oh man that guy is awesome, he's crazy" More like "Oh man I think that guy got hit in the head with a bat, he's crazy." He always makes the jokes, but they're not even jokes. They're horrible, awkward words in a sentence structure. These "jokes" make you wonder where the punch line is. You wonder until he starts laughing so hard a wet spot appears on his crotch and you realize he thinks he's so funny that he's literally made himself pee. And then he stops and almost whispers under his breath "That's funny...yeah that's funny and if you don't think that's funny you can get the hell out of the bakery right now, right now" And he's crazy enough to actually commit murder if some one did in fact think he was not funny. I never think anything he says is funny, but I just make an inapporate comment about my vagina and he usually leaves me alone. Its a harsh world out there and you gotta know what the hell works.

Then there's Shirley. The oldest person I've ever met. She appears to be this sweet old lady. She has a little granny voice, she walks slower than I thought possible, and she's just so old. The truth...she is fuckin evil. Sometimes she totally freaks out or tells me how much she hates certain people. She would also kill people, but she's blame that shit one someone else.

And that's just the tip of the gems I've met....

I usually take my breaks in the car. If I go to hell, I will forever be in the break room. Everyone who works at the grochery store takes they're breaks in the same little white dirty room. And no one can be in the break room without talking, everyone always has to be talking. Its the first time in my life when I just don't want anyone to fucking talk. What do they talk about...hmm lets see. A lot of wrestling, a passionate love for Nascar, and hot women. Its a fucking boys club. I feel like I should be smoking cigar, holding my penis, and slapping a hooker's ass everytime I have to go in that room. Today a real shining star started up a conversation with me. He literally read me the newspaper, even though I has holding a book I was desperately trying to read for a least two seconds of my break. And then outta nowhere says, "You know what, there ain't tit for jobs in Vermont if your not some college educated jack ass"
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what do you say to that.
I couldn't even respond to the "college educated jack ass"commet" becasue I was so amazing with his use of the word tit.
I just felt respect for this guy. Even though he was a compete fuckin tit.

And that's about where I'm at.
I'm gonna watch American Idol....don't judge me.