I perform Illusions, tricks are what whores do for money.

I'm working for the man and it feels good. Cause this girl is bout to get ppaaaiiiidddd. I can pay my bills, even if that means I have to wear a white Oxforfd EVERYDAY! Luckily white makes me look tan tan tan....sometimes.

People at work are pretty chill. Sometimes I want to shout out inapproriate things. Or tell someone something that would make them cry. Like this "Hey sometimes when I eat to many Pizza flavored Pringles chips, my gums bleed." Then I could walk away and decorate a cake and just let them stew on that for a while. In yo face everyone who works at the bakery and knows where all the damn plastic containers go. I'll put that shit where I want and then I'll drop it like its hot.

Chatting with my boy from a different time zone, whose life is closer to the ocean I'm not close to. He laughs at all the stupid jokes I make, even when I know that I didn't even deserve a laugh. I respect that shit. Then when I actually am funny, he gets this deep down to the bones laugh that I can feel from 3000 miles away. I miss his face near mine. He smells good and he makes me laugh with his awkward, serious guy humor. He'll be here in March and its pretty possible that I will fuck it up again and be a weird commitment phob, maybe even a mad cow but I will get a few days of love love love. That's man's patience with my shit leaves me standing in awe drooling like a chump. And maybe I won't fuck it up, maybe I'll eat thunder and shit lighting, maybe it'll all work out. I would make kick ass jew. That's a fact.

Well I'm gonna get to watching some Sex and the City, drinking some tea, and smoking my last cig of the night. It will be a great end to this strange strange day.

Somedays you get a chance for breathe for 2 seconds. I will take these precious 2 seconds and fill them with the most relaxed in and out that I can muster.....................
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that's what she said.