That's a bitch ass trick.

I'm pissed at the world today. I'm pissed at the world so hard that if the world was sitting in my living room right now, I would kick the world in the crotch so hard that the world would never be able to have children again. Don't let me mistake you for the world today, because you will be unable to have children after our visit.

I've been in my apartment aaaaaaallllllllllll day. The air in here is poisinous. My living room floor is caked in paper, tape, paint, markers, and some finished art peices. I was a tragic artist today...I can only handle being one of these a few times a month. If you let your creativity completely contol you for too long you will have smoked a whole pack of cigarettes, drank 14,000 cups of coffee, and talked to yourself for about the whole day straight. Then you will grab some drinks and you'll feel the need to be an alcoholic. Fight the urge, you'll regret it the next morning when you can't see straight, your make-up that was once on your face has melted onto your chest, and you can't feel your kneecaps.

Somedays you just have to give yourself permission to feel sorry for yourself, today is that day. I like my life, I'm so excited for my new job and the new boys and my apartment, just not today. Why, you ask? Because all my friends are couples....and sometimes they forget that I am single. They forget when they kiss the shit out of eachother while I sit there watching like a mentally challenged third wheel, they forget when they have to be alone for a few days and are convinced that they will choke and die and no one will find their dead body, they forget that I spend most of my days alone and quiet, they forget when they look at me like a child because I decide to hook up with an old lover, they forget when they tell me I should get a new boyfriend so we can play with even numbers again. So why don't I hang out with single people? Because they're just as annoying as I just was for a whole a paragraph and coupled friends don't let you feel sorry for yourself because they are happy. BUt unlike them after a day at my great new job, when I walk into my awesome apartment there will be no one here. I might get a call, which I appreciate....but no one will have cleaned the house for me, no one will be here to eat dinner with and smoke a cig with, and no one will actually care that I feel sorry for myself. So to all you single peeps who wish that life would fucking hand you a bone....a bone in the form of a wonderful man who talks to you, kisses you, is awesome in the sack, and acts like a man, go ahead and take the day to cry and scream and fuck it.
But tomorrow...get over it...this is what I'm gonna do.
Tomorrow I will clean my house, take a shower, laugh, and get the fuck over myself. There are starving children in African and they don't give a shit if I have a boyfriend or not.
But today I'm gonna indulge the want. Because when all your friends are coupled, married, engaged, or pregnant, you get premission to cry because you're not having sex on a regular basis.

My other excuse for feeling like shit: I'm bleeding like a fresh roast beef. My ovaries have aparently learned some skills that are similar to the skills of razors, hammers, and fire. Because the entire lower area of my body is exploding. Being a woman is so overrated.

I'm gonna keep painting...and then sleep early.

Oh and comedians with puppets are stupid....they are the least funny people in the world. They are just as not funny as Tyra Banks.